A List of Farts

Sentience

I feel Bobs loss. The loss of a sandwich is truly a suffering.


In sunny news, I have a solid date for the removal of my useless gall bladder. While they are in there they will also look around and see if there is anything else that needs to get pulled. I am guessing the doctor gets paid based on how many things he can pull out, and keep me alive to pay bills. This should end the darn close to a year of mystery abdominal pain I had to deal with. Seriously folks, take care of your stomach. I do not suggest ever having those kinds of problems.

ClassActions

My kid is taking classes with other kids now. I do not know how I feel about this. Only that I want more shield around the other kids at least.

Last chance to talk about 2012

As this year crawls to a close, I look back with zero longing for it to last any longer than necessary.

It seems like it was entirely too full of cell phones, wars, robotic bombers, politics gone completely haywire, Aztec doomsayers, and pads. God, the pads.

One great thing to come out of this year was that my marriage became a lot stronger, and my daughter got a lot smarter (read devious). I was able to carve out a little more time to focus on artwork, and a little more time to just relax, and to not focus on what others think of me.

I also, was able to clean up and rearrange my house a little bit. My kid now has a daybed, rather than a crib. she is almost completely potty trained. We are going to look for a daycare solution in the coming months. heck, my parents have finally moved here from the hometown at long last.

My wife has a great new job with a different company than I. this has made things much less fractious (arguing).
heck, the Seahawks are even doing great. (so far...)

Basically, I am saying that this whole thing has been a bit much for this artist. I am truly looking forward to a new and brighter year in 2013. Maybe a mars mission (NASA? are you still there?) Definitely more comics. Lots more comics. So relax, and enjoy the ride. Its gonna get weird.

Fathers

This was supposed to be a sunday comic, obviously, but I was busy enjoying fathers day. I figure the dads out there will still get a happy feeling when reading this comic.

A Trade

I have no comic today. Too much work going on. That said I will give you a little story.


My dad once took us to Chuck E. Cheese. If you are unfamiliar with that, suffice to say it is a pizza chain that caters to children. Giant rusting animation things on a stage play recordings to terrified 3 year olds, while screaming children run into each other in a maddeningly cheese fueled attempt to get tickets from the various video games in the restaurant, so that they can get prizes. Its a bit like a country fair, except less controlled. Imagine the drifters that are in charge of the rides being replaced by 16 year old without any concern for safety.

Anyway tl;dr my dad hates these places. Hates them.
One time we were able to drag him to one. He was willing to sit in a corner booth with his feet on a chair, while we ran around screaming and yelling and generally causing havoc, as young boys will.
When suddenly it appears!
Chuck E Cheese himself! To us at least. Chuck was actually there (in costume form)
We came running up to Chuck, then stopped. A cold fear came over us as we noted that this was similar to a clown. Too similar.
He sauntered over, as a 6 foot tall mouse would to our dad.
We grew very quiet.
the mouse then began a weird pantomime of telling my father to take his feet off the chair.
My dad looked up at the giant mouse, and said,
"Hat up, and head out."
The mouse was as perplexed as we were by this phrase. The tone was unmistakable though to our ears. This was the sort of tone dad would use before punishment would occur.
The mouse didn't get it.

 Dad began to stand up, and move towards the mouse!
Our fears of a mouse versus parent fisticuffs was unwarranted. The Mouse backed down and stepped away, and my dad simply sat down again.

To this day, I wonder if there isn't some poor man in a Giant Mouse suit fearful of my dad jumping up and threatening him in archaic language again.

Microsoft Bedtime Stories

A Culinary Delight

This happens more often than not. Something about the quality of the food being directly proportional to the lack of concern of the child. My wife and I love to cook, so our Bambino is often forced to eat well cooked food rather than chef boy r dee.

Kids today, I tell ya

Ok, so I know everyone loves to hear personal stuff. Heck, its what makes Facebook so popular. so Info dump:

Last night upon picking up the daughter, we notice that the kid has a serious cold, runny nose, the works (thanks mallrats). We take her home, after a short stop at a drug store to purchase stock in Big Pharma. Take kid home, and listen to her whine about her chair, food, cats, television, not having milk, not having enough milk, not having all the milk ever made by a cow.
Anyhow, we get her settled in, actually get some pain reliever in her for the sinus trouble that comes along with colds. ("MY NOSE HURTS MOMMY DADDY")

*This is where things should calm down, and lead to her going to bed*

We are on the couch in the living room, trying to calm down from the shock and awe attack, when she shrieks from the bedroom. Running in, I find that she hurt her wrist, her head, and her back. How you ask?
Well, my sick Daughter decided that she would use the little chair she normally sits in as a slide. Rather the bottom of a slide. The top would be the bed.

simulation of my daughters grand idea

 She slid face first (assumption based on injuries sustained) into her chair. Then rolled, and hurt everything, all over the place.

Children's Chair, ingredients by weight:

 *One two by four, poorly cut into sections and nailed together. 

*One cheap as possible piece of foam. 

*One cheap as possible covering

Cue figuring out how to calm her down AGAIN. At some point we decide to take her to bed, which leads to a cavalcade of bad ideas from both me and my wife.

It was fucking three stooges, people.

Finally get her to bed, and asleep. (she actually yells at wife to "Go Away.") Then she wakes up again at midnight, then again at six.

Morning ensues with a flurry of who is staying, take her to doctor, don't take her to doctor, the kindle is too bright, the phone is too bright, PITCH BLACK IS TOO BRIGHT.

I finally pry myself out the door, and drive to work,


 surprisingly quite relaxed at last.

Saturday Egg Sandwiches

Good morning.  This is my saturday.
After an early start with the kidlet, I am rearing to go!
I am already working on comic number one for next week. I have hidden myself away from my family and have incredible plans for getting at least five (FIVE) comics done by monday. One is scripted and sketched now.

This is the current layout of my desk right now. I have all my brushes and pens and pencils, along with a horrible collection of books, and of course some ten year old computer speakers. Dont laugh they have incredible bass.

This is a delicious Egg sandwich that my wife lovingly made for me. I truly live like royalty.

This is where the magic happens (insert cheap joke here)
Dell 14" monitor, paired with a mac mini (woo woo)











And thats all the bullshitting I can do to avoid working on my true love, art. Now to get down to it and draw like I have never drawn before!

Men Without Hats

This is how I sing pretty much any song. I know the big parts, and I sing them louder to cover up the parts I dont know. It works for me, and it will work for you as well. I promise. I PROMISE!

Robotic Love 17: Fear for your drapes

This turned out a bit better than expected. Kanga the DoomKitty has arrived at the Robot family. Fear for your drapes. FEAR!!!!

Oh my god, I am getting old.(No kidding)

My wife and I realized this morning that our wedding anniversary was coming up on the 16th(or17th). Providence decided that we would always celebrate after receiving a paycheck. This past year has been a doozy. Without going into too much drama, we have had some serious 'discussions'. I have also dealt with a lot of humbling experiences, from losing my job, and my house, to dealing with a pretty fucked up knee, and the fun of high blood pressure medications, like some 80 year old.

When we first met, I was working in a start up that was going to re-write on line auctions with state of the art development. Year and a half later, I found myself out of work. We had to scramble, but soon I found better, and my technical skills became much more useful, as well as my ability to talk to people. I know, its weird that people actually don't listen much anymore. Especially in technology. It seems that the loudest voice carries the day, rather than the quiet one that mentions that the loud guy is talking about impossible things. But I digress.

I have always played around with my artwork. After having my child, I thought I would never have time for it again. I am glad that I have bit the bullet so to speak, and bought all the tools necessary to do some hard artwork. I'm going to start with just some light sketches, but I can tell that with a little time and humor, I can get things really moving on this. If it doesn't work out, I will still have enjoyed doing it, for arts sake (little cliché, but whatever).